|Big Bear Lake 12.28.12|
Kat Sloma at KatEye Studio is offering to host a monthly review of your photo archives. The details can be found HERE. To kick off the NEW YEAR, she's also designed a new logo... representing the changes in her photography.
Last week, as JPE & I wandered the edge of Big Bear Lake, lost in our thoughts, I was struck by the fact that I don't have a vision for my future. I don't even think about the future. I say I may retire soon, but I think part of me is fearful that I'll lose my identity. Which is rubbish... I've never thought my work "identified" me... but lately, that's all I talk & think about. WORK PROJECTS have begun to consume me.
While I know the financial aspect scares me... I DO have my teacher's retirement, as well as an annuity account & I will qualify for some social security. BUT, I don't even want to think about the "health insurance" part of retirement --- that's truly scary (enough to make me think I should move out of the country).
This month's Photo-Heart Connection is a blurry photo of the frozen vegetation on the edge of the lake. LIFE SEEMS BLURRY! what sort of clarity do I need, before I take the plunge to retire? should I request a part-time assignment for the 2013-14 school year? School budgets are reviewed in February... what to do? what to do?
If I retired, I'd have the freedom to visit family (SLE in Washington DC), work in Allie's classroom (I love kinders), be able to spend more time with Lydia, and go hang-out with Mom... not to mention that JPE is working part-time this year (but not really, he's busier than ever - he's only getting paid for part-time work), so, technically, we could have MORE time together.
BUT, as silly as this sounds, I fear not having the structure of being some place by a certain time every day! I'm not like JPE who tackles every day with the same routine. I worry that I will spend days in pj's - sipping endless cups of coffee & switching to tea for afternoon sipping. My crafting will sit in piles, the sewing machine will gather dust, my camera batteries will never get charged... and my computer will take the place of human interaction.
NO! perhaps I've talked myself out of retirement for another year???
My December Photo-Heart Connection truly represents the swirling, blurry confusion going on in my head. Where's the crystal clear solution?